Saturday, July 5, 2008

In Pursuit of Happyness

In a world, where happiness is spelled as h-a-p-p-y-n-e-s-s ; people tried to correct it, but then some were contend with it, because they understood, there is no point in changing it.
They were in "pursuit of happyness".

In every man's life, there is a point of time, when they feel so low. Just when you think, things can't get worse anymore, things start falling apart. Things that you take for granted doesn't exist anymore. You lose everything. A point of realization comes, that in this world, you are alone.
In the end, it is not honor, self righteous, truth, benignity or any of those noble things that you cherished all your life, you upheld all your life that helps you survive this low. It is pure belief.
Belief in Life, Belief in God, and above all belief in yourself.

Ever been in a position, when the whole world was against you. When anything you set your foot upon goes wrong. Everything you try fails. You go mad at everything in the world, you blame the world, you blame the whole system. n'then you shut the door, go into the cave and cry.

The point of no return -

You don't feel anything more. You don't smile, you don't cry , you don't feel anger. You just have that blank face. People stare at you, "what happened to you?" , "You look crazy man". You feel like explaining, but you realize there is no point. You give a smile,the one you can possibly give. It looks weak, you see the "I am sorry" look on their face. You feel like telling "I don't want your sympathy", but doesn't feel like telling even that, and be the subject of more sympathy.

Next day, you start smiling. Paste on your face, your best smile. Everyone around you sees that you are fine. They are happy to see your smiling face. Only you know the volcano that is boiling inside. You don't allow anyone near it, not even your best friend,
parents , girlfriend or your wife.Not because you want to hide, but because you don't want to see them feeling down cos of you.

You go like clock-work for many a morning,late into night, sleeping little, trying to make things work out by any and all means. Months fly past, like days because the boundaries of days doesn't exist anymore for you. All you get to sleep is the long sleep that you get on sunday morning. You wait for the results to come some day for your toil. After so long,you stop believing in the system, resign to your fate having done all you could do for making your dream. You understand the good old saying "Who told you life is a fair game? You assumed so."

and finally, finally the day comes when you hear, "congrats, you made it" . When all your work, pay of with dividends . It is like finding a bottle of water in a desert. Your joy is so much that you feel like crying,but the tears are all dried up. You see the days of toil unfolding before you. It feels like, it has been so long, since you dreamed of this day. You feel that "that day, when I saw this moment it was exactly like this. This same dress, the same everything ,even the smell. It was so long back". You feel so old now.

You shout silently to the world “ I won”.This small little part of my life;
This is called happyness.

PS: Inspired by film “Pursuit of Happiness” , narration from experience.


Dedicated to all my dear friends, who has been of so much support and help. To name a few, Aswin, Jaya, Radhika, Ganapathy, Himanshu, Ranjith, Rakesh, Shiny, Josen, Priya, Asha, Aashik, Nikhil, SKV, David sir, and to all of my family Minu, Dad and Mom, who treated me so well during those difficult times.Thank you all. I love you all.